They get me.īut I won’t lie, these sections were, ever so rarely, somewhat entertaining, if only because they were actually way more challenging than expected for a game aimed at three year-olds. Half of the ocean’s fauna, and some of humanity’s tools, want to see the poor Baby Shark seriously hurt. Swordfish and electric eels show up from out of nowhere to hinder your progress. Anchors keep falling from above to smack you. These levels are autorunners, in which you are tasked with collecting starfish whilst avoiding a sheer ludicrous amount of obstacles trying to hurt you. Those are exponentially more entertaining than the “singing” sections. What little this game has in terms of actual fun can be found in the swimming levels. There were times I was legitimately playing some of it on mute whilst blasting “ Redneck” by Lamb of God on my PC’s speakers to cheer me up. The music in this Baby Shark game is just bad. Hell, I actually really enjoyed Gigantosaurus despite being aimed at kids a tenth of my age. This is not even a “generational” complaint, a “boomer” not getting what the little ones like. Those who can play it, will hate listening to it. The gameplay, though basic as all hell, can occasionally get a bit complex for the demographic young enough to actually not despise the Baby Shark theme song with all their hearts.
#DEMON SOULS MANEATER FULL#
You’re getting the full Baby Shark experience, complete with other songs like “Baby Shark Tail” (I would have preferred a song called “Baby Shark Fin Soup”, but that’s just me) and “Baby Sharkcito”. The game pulls no punches: the first damn song you are told to play is the stupid Baby Shark theme song, and dear lord, is it a rancid piece of music.
The overall gameplay loop of the “singing” sections of Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party wouldn’t have been an issue if it wasn’t for the music accompanying the gameplay. It’s almost like a metaphor to the whole blockchain/NFT craze of yesteryear. The more starfish you collect, the more cards you earn, which can then be seen in an album. There is no numerical score, just a handful of starfish which represent how well (or not) you’ve just performed. This is meant for a demographic so young they are probably unable to read, so this makes sense. This is when Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party becomes a rhythm game, one which only uses the four face buttons on the DualSense, with very little challenge or creativity in display. Whenever the game tells you to “sing”, thankfully, you don’t have to. Instead of, I dunno, calling an Uber or just swimming there as quickly as possible, the family stops by every few minutes to perform in two different types of event, which are basically the bulk of what this game has to offer: singing and swimming. He then convinces his entire family, comprised of different-colored sharks, as well as an older shark who possesses facial hair, to attend said festival. So, what is Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party? The game starts off with a cutscene, where the titular Baby Shark receives a letter (somehow, intact, despite being underwater), with an invitation for a festival. I am pretty sure I was listening to Ghost or Sepultura when I took this screenshot.
#DEMON SOULS MANEATER FREE#
The thing that, at a point, was just a (very miserable) free YouTube video, is now a game being sold for your hard-earned salary, which your kids will want. Humanity has failed this world, and this is what we deserve for everything we have done over the past centuries of colonialism, environmental destruction, polar cap melting, vaccine denial. Playing Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party for a few hours, and putting my eardrums to the exposition of that rancid theme song that, somehow, kickstarted a BILLION DOLLAR franchise, made me feel the same feelings.
A grim expression despair at the realization that, beneath an exterior of civilized human behaviour, lies the potential for savagery. In Apocalypse Now, Colonel Kurtz’s final words are “the horror, the horror”, a dark realization about the bitter and absolute truth of his life. This is what we deserve for treating the world so poorly: a Baby Shark game exists. Graphics! Immersive experiences! Motion controls! Less than three years later, I would be betrayed by my own expectations, for my PSN profile is now forever tarnished with a badge of dishonor: trophies for the PlayStation 5 version of Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party.
I was excited to see what the next generation of gaming consoles would bring me over the next few years. I was going to play Demon’s Souls‘ remake, Dirt 5, Astro’s Playroom, and there were games like Ratchet & Clank and Returnal on the horizon. It was a new world full of opportunities. I remember when I first got my hands on the PlayStation 5.
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